my life, my words

haiz... i think i have a very serious belated monday blues. my mood now is right down to the bottom of the well. feeling extremely sleepy but my bloody long hair is still wet and im too lazy to walk over to my hair dryer. today was a real bad day. =(

-morning while sleeping, head banged onto the bus window x18128390123 times
-unhappiness over at work, lazy to elaborate
-fav aunty came to find me, if u know u know
-broke one of love's house glass window panel, not on purpose obviously

aiya, just need to know nothing went the right way today.

but i went to mj yst over at ler's house and officially broke my losing streak cos i won a few bucks yest. hehehee

thanks for ur listening ears, thanks for ur patience. =DD

10:22:00 PM Y

sat chiong to bugis to meet my darlings after work. i didnt know sleeping on train feels so much uncomfortable den sleeping on bus. i kept opening my eyes to check for elderlys or pregnant mummy as im afraid to be posted up to stomp as "inconsiderate teenager who fake sleep" LOL! ok satisfied my forever craving for kimchi fried rice, walked around and yada yada.

next chiong back to t1 to meet my love after his work to pator. caught friday the 13th, another horror movie with gore scenes. its abit like my bloody valentine but just that the storyline not as fantastic as i expected. it doesnt have much meaning on the title but just that the murders fall on friday the 13th. we secretly sneaked snacks in again. had pastamania before heading home.

today met my fs grp members over at sch opp's kfc for lunch and walked back to sch for project meeting. i guess we had the most anxious meeting and everything ended with blessings! love is in the air yo!

have tons of photos to upload, soon soon.

10:38:00 PM Y

i am glad that now i have my parents to give me advice whenever i met with unhappiness in my work, my bf to listen to all my rants although he himself is tired from work and my friends to be always there despite leading a different life now.

i sulked and walked into the shop.
requested for a mcflurry at the end of the day. =DD

and i sinfully ate 5 pan fried pork bun again yest and got my tongue burnt. now my poor tongue has a sandy feeling and it sucks. i doubt i can taste shit now.

8:50:00 AM Y

waaaaaaaa, the 晕车this morning almost killed me! cant believe i survived the rest of the journey without vomiting. guess what, i counted meh meh to distract myself and ended up falling aslp. wake up feeling even more giddy! super terrible feeling, had the urge to alight along the expressway.

it was a hectic day over at workplace today. running here and there, doing this and that, passing messages to who and who. my to-do-list is getting longer and longer! i wont be afraid to commit mistakes, i will face up to the challenges! thats the only mindset i can have in order not to dread sip. =)

another motivating night again as i dont have to change 3 buses home. love came to fetch me and we headed to tm1. WA, i swear the handmade pan fried steam pork bun is super super super nice. they tasted just like pork bun with soup and crispy base. its sold under the shanghai shop by the name "luo chun ge" at B1. tried xiao ba wang's crispy chicken and auntie anne's as well. i think tm1 gonna be famous for their finger foods.

your comfort is my antidote. ur presence each night cured everything.

9:13:00 PM Y

i feel so useless and helpless =(

2:00:00 PM Y

unlucky day today. =(

missed a double deck 168 and boarded a single deck 168. wakao why they will arrange a single deck 168 in the morning! i have to stand throughout the 1 hr ride which totally murdered my legs. my legs went numb when i was alighting from the bus, lucky i didnt fall. and when i reach woodlands inter, my 169 was again a single deck. damn it damn it damn it. so i miss my bus again and have to wait for the next.

i came out of the house 10 mins earlier of my normal time and ended up late again. wads worse, i arrived later than my supervisor! ARGGGG=( caught in a slight jam at cte which further injured my legs. promised myself to get my mom to wake me 15 mins earlier tml

and just now was having difficulty calibrating the damn brix meter.

=(=( bad day bad day
but ur msg cheered me up slightly, thanks love=DD

3:15:00 PM Y

had a good rest today cos i took MC finally! make a visit to the polyclinic. yest was out with cvk to tamp 1 and balestier bak kut teh next with the usuals.

i have an ultra big ucler just below my tongue, at a swollen gum. aiya, i dunno how to explain the exact location but if u know it, u know it. haha. so i went to put salt on the ulcer and totally exclaimed in pain while on phone with ricky=DD! he thought what happened as i moaned, screamed, complained, shitted and whatever reaction one might have when in pain.

i dont want to go back to those days, i prefer days like this. i dont want to get things only when requested or demanded, they serve no purpose anymore. if everything have to come with a motive, i feel so tired and not important. whatever, totally no motivation. =( in everything

i dont really like to be a wander ghost. i dont like going out alone, it feels so weird and aiya just weird. but i've been going to tamp1 alone, going to polyclinic alone, going to work alone and alot. mayb for some of u its smth so common and nth to be proud of but for me its a great achievement. lyk u must be pretty surprised ya.

be brave and face what has to come. =DD

8:12:00 PM Y

weeee~ finally i broke my losing streak last night and won a few bucks at the end of the day. my table is damn messy and my discussion for food safety has yet to be done. have to get myself settled down to complete them tonight.

i have a voice sexier than the friendly adidas salesman. =DD

had a bad bad dream, thanks god its just....

a dream.

12:03:00 PM Y

sleeping is my favourite hobby now.

8:49:00 PM Y

hehe i was already late when i went out of the house and there came the tummy upset which explains why im still at home. so i went back home to seek "help" from my dad, asking him to drive me to woodlands. car=less than 30 mins, bus= more than 1 hr 30 mins... so guess i can still wander around before heading to work.

my workload is getting heavier and heavier, especially so when it was the nus attachement girl's last day yest. had the virgin meeting with the boss and he expects me to take over her half done work. my sky is falling pls. its like beside doing qaqc, i have to do all these documents is alr a headache and whats more its the continuation of other's work. i felt so lost when the boss was explaining to me and so i just stared blankly with a slight frown. and he asked "hmmm are u there?" haha, i swear my boss looks a slight little bit scary with his gorilla big goldfish eyes.

so the day ended with a mini celebration for the 3 attachment students who finally 脱离苦海。我刚刚掉入苦海，命苦。off to ricky's for dinner. tiring day with 5 samples to qaqc (normally at most 3-4).

my sorethroat seems to be getting worse with a little cough to accompany. woke up with a diff voice, shiok not.

7:50:00 AM Y

ok this is the reply i got from my supervisor regarding the timetable.

"The system has to include a time table to reflect that the subject is offered this semester to students but it cannot specify the mode in which it is delivered. So you need only ignore it pls. Thanks any way for clarifying it."

and she mentioned its an e-learning subject, so ya....

一场欢喜一场空

12:43:00 PM Y

Yong Liang's 21st chalet photos finally up.
thanks ricky=DD for going up to take for me, haha.

birthday boy

slacking

and here comes the photo-taking session. we went all means squeezing out category just to get a shot with the birthday boy. haha

so this is iguides

this is the graduated batch, all the lao jiaos

the not yet graduated bunch.

the engine schools.

and the neighbours aka mahjong khakis

quick shot before derek gtg.

we gave him wallet.

11:04:00 PM Y

Random photos upload.

a quick glimspe of my workplace~

this is the room where i use com. as u can c from the angle, the ppl outside wont know and cant c what im doing so that explains why i always can eat snake.

this is the physical lab where i do all the physical tests for the sauces. mainly test for the viscosity, pH, sugar and salt content.

yes, at the left of the picture is a basin. i have to wash all the utensils at the end of the testing unlike in sch we can just leave it behind for teacher to wash.

this is the microbiology lab.

like a lump of meat on the bed, so cute.

my dad grew this lady's finger

the addidas salesman who kept smiling at me. *.*" go beat him.

haha he looks like some street fighter character.

and i shall intro u ricky-look-alike

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HAHHAHHAA

9:45:00 PM Y

i dunno whether shld i listen or shld i talk. i dunno what to talk and when to talk. i feel that i shldnt be the one who needs someone to listen to, in fact i shld b providing my best listening ears. really dunno how to react, feeling all lost and confused. i need u to talk and i need u to listen. lets hold hands and escape from the reality. nope, not reality but actually something that has yet to happen. and deep down i wish it wont happen at all. i know it wont and i believe so. =)

i really feel very helpless all of a sudden.

i will treasure as much as i can from today onwards.
for i know i love family, bf and friends out there.

on a lighter note, i took pictures of my workplace! shall upload them when i get home. not alot, but a quick glimspe of how it looks like will be nice i guess. =)

2:06:00 PM Y

no thermometer now, dunno whther am i having a fever. but i can feel my body temp going up and down. =( sorethroat still there, oh man. haha actually cos im not doing anything to it. =P

everything will be ok, u've been the brave one who dare to face up to challenges i always know.
i love u no matter what
im starting to fear. now that i finally understand the true meaning of ignorance is bliss.
i'll have to stop my tears

12:50:00 PM Y

having sorethroat now. =( worsen good, never worsen good.
worsen can take mc dont need come work but never worsen also good cos wont feel unwell.

i love labcoat, they helped me cover my mp3 wires, so i can listen to them while working. hehehehehehe

1:08:00 PM Y

for the whole afternoon, i was working in front of the com. seems like i have endless things to complain about SIP. do phy test, complain. now do data entry also complain. i really dunno what i am expecting to acheive during these period, like totally aimless. maybe its due to the fact that i've yet to find any motivation in going to work which i doubt i will. HAHA, only if u know what i mean. i was told the nightmare has yet to come, this is just the beginning. find me some motivation pls, i really need some doses of motivation to keep these 86 days going.

lh, ym and pan have been meeting me after our work everyday, so far so good. =) they always wait for me either at my bus stop or theirs even though i normally knock out slightly later than them. sometimes they will even walk to my bus stop while waiting for me. today ym was even nicer cos he lent me his itouch! i whined to them that my iriver died on me this morning cos i forgot to charge and he took out his itouch to lend me and saved my long journey home.

just feel like slacking my night away by using the com, no work no project.

Tamp 1's urban life is total godlike. and the adidas there is great as well, cos the salesman keep smiling at me everytime i step inside.

9:27:00 PM Y

busy weekend.

fri after work, headed to tamp 1 to look for ricky=DD and got squeezed around by the shoppers over there. visited stacey over at teadot cafe as well. ys waited with me and i managed to psycho him to mj! afterwhich was overnight mj at yl's chalet, all the way till 2 in the afternoon. went home to wash up and catch a short nap before making our way back to aranda. mission accomplished as we got the birthday boy drunk and his face was totally red! robinhood also got super wasted, shld have stopped him from drinking the last shot. but i guess everyone had fun over at yl's 21st bd chalet=)

headed str to work from chalet. it was a smooth day cos the equipments were cooperative and finished my work smoothly. the saddest thing about my sip is having to work on every sat. thanks bf for driving me there despite being so tired himself. BUT i was still late cos both of us cant recog the way there and thus made some detours

today didnt sleep till late late as well cos had project meeting at 2. compiled and split work, fast and furious yo. though have to admit its abit draggy during the process, we managed to finish what we intended to finish before 5. met up with bf after his work for dinner and home next.

mass webcam with C and V, it was fun! shld have that more often. JUST BE YOURSELF.

10:52:00 PM Y

didnt know i can get so tired to the extent of falling asleep every morning and evening on the bus. i can sleep late with little sleep time but not waking up early with more sleep time. i always thought i will only fall asleep when i ton after chalet but now falling asleep on bus is a blessing. firstly, i managed to save some sleep and secondly the long journey seems short.

work is getting more tedious or maybe im really changing my mindset during the company. heard news that i have to take over RND as well. which means on top of QAQC with all those lab tests, very soon i have to learn to cook the sauces. seriously, i cant stand taking up all the sai kangs. not only that, my physical instruments are giving me the biggest headache. something i can finish withing an hour, i took 3 hours to finish. i have to re-calibrate and the results just cant stable. i just hope i didnt spoil another instrument.

i just dont want to be left alone, do u not understand? bring me around, bring me along, dont always leave me behind.

keeping my fingers crossed.

11:04:00 PM Y

heng ar, i finally informed my supervisor about the broken pH meter. actually i told my shifu, the nus attachment girl, and she told my supervisor for me. she didnt scold me but i think she abit zuo you wei nan. cos they scared the boss knows den we/i will kena scolding. hopefully the boss wont have the time to ask about it. =D a load off my heart. i swear i was thinking about it the whole of yest and this morning i was so reluctant to come, emotionally. LOL

did micro tests earlier on and doing paper work now again.
tml thursday and PUBLIC HOL! like what i told my grp members yest, i love PH from then on. (especially those that falls on sat)

now i have another worry which is to call the supplier for viscometer's spindle. i dunno if i spoilt it too but anyway i doubt so eh. ok whatever it is, i think my supervisor asked my shifu to call and teach me at the same time. at least better than handling it alone for my first attempt. this is the greatest hurdle i believe i have to overcome once they leave. =(

sleepy=( counting down to end of sip, something impossible. demoralising max. whats so great about nice colleagues but nasty lady boss, get myself all nervous with every of my actions. damn her. lucky i have absolutely no bizness to do with her.

11:10:00 AM Y

first day of sip was great. thanks bf for driving me there while i got the chance to sleep through the jam over at the expressway. waking up early is totally killing me and not leaving any bones. unhappiness stuffs always happen at the wrong time, but luckily its all over now. yes, forgive and forget.

walked around the factory, office and was introduced to everyone there. afterwhich was following another sip student from NUS to do the phy and micro tests. and towards the end of the day, i started doing some paper work. the day was easy and relaxed. my supervisor leave me to plan my daily work schedule and i love this own time own target culture of hers. i just have to tell her in the morning what i am going to do for the whole day.

so my job here is basically doing of phy and micro tests whenever there is and thats it. very slack currently, that explains why i have the time to online and msg. and the nus attachment girl is also from the faculty food sci. she is patient with me and taught me whatever i need to know for the various tests. colleagues and supervisor are nice, not bad not bad. but the nus girl is leaving next fri and i will be left aloneee=(

just had my lunch and am trying my best to slack over here. oh ya, something i like about working here is everywhere got air con! but the bad thing is u have to help them save electricity by switching them off when u not in the room. family company, quite spendthrift i guess.

oh ya and i met the legendary lady boss who bloody hell scolded me. i was early for work pls, so i went to another room to wait for my RND department ppl to come open the door. so i was on the phone with bf and she came home and scolded "u shldnt be calling cos now is working hour, no handphone is allowed during working hour" damn her pls! yes, its alr 9.05am by then but its when my department is not even opened. what she expect me to do? stare in the space in that waiting room? its not as if im inside my department room and making a phone call right.

so i was told not to report early next time, come on the dot will be more than sufficient. other than this woman, others are nice and friendly=) so i have to keep a watchout on her cos i heard alot of nasty comments about her already. hopefully she dont pick on me again cos i seldom c her during my working hours.

omg i just heard that my supervisor is resigning!!!! how???? theres 5 ppl including me in my department now. one is finishing sip, one is going back china, one is switching job and now my supervisor is resigning. the turnover rate here is very high indeed. =( but shes only leaving ard june i guess, so theres still some time for me to adapt to the culture here before they leave. =(

12:25:00 PM Y

i am too tired to blog but i wanted to say was...

all i wanted was just a simple form of respect for a girl.

10:17:00 PM Y

a simple pop-up at the doorstep during the wee hours made my day. =D

3:05:00 AM Y

12:04:00 AM Y

LONG post.

finally i got myself some time to do some blogging after one week. last sunday was mahjong after 85. at last, i satisfied my cravings for LALA! i finished the whole $8 of lala myself, thank you. monday was iguides chalet and as what derek said, iguides chalet spells mahjong. my whole time there was mahjong eat mahjong eat, not even sleeping ok. ok so mahjong all the way till next morning and struggled my way back tp for some sip briefing. bf was great cos he was almost dying from the toning and yet he accompanied me back.

all thanks to the whatever workshop on tuesday that lasted few hours before sip lauch, the sense of anticipation almost killed us. so as what i expected, ms petrina lim is my LO. but something i prayed to not happen to me really happened. among the sway ones, i am one of the sways who have to work alone. =( thats super demoralising and what made it worse is my company is located at woodlands. its the first time i have to travel that far for a daily routine, time to learn to appreciate sbs i guess. pri sch was with school bus though its just at ubi, sec sch was drove to sch by my mum thought its totally within walking distance and poly was just 4 stops away my house. ok anyway i am attached to sin hwa dee, a sauce company. have a wide range of job scope as compared to others, good or bad? to early to judge everything before i even try it out right.

after the super draggy workshop, went for a microbiology workshop to refresh our memories. after the workshop, bf met me in sch before qj and stac picked us up and went back to the chalet again for mahjong! haha, i haven catch a wink yet at that moment. BBQ and back to mahjong again. i was amazed that i managed to ton for 2 nights without sleeping at all, GJ sy. mahjong till around 6am and qj drove us back. i caught a few hours of sleep before getting my ass back to tp again at wednesday noon for some subject briefing. stayed back for project discussion before i surrendered to my project members and they agreed to "dismiss" and cont the next day. went home to sleep and chionged project at night.

Thurs was project meeting and we ended our induction package at a very fast speed. very happy with the working style of these grp members, very efficient yet relaxing. =) considering the fact that we have to do project alongside sip, its going to be a tough period for all of us so hope everything will be as smooth. i think AS lecturers are all out to kill us by not only arranging this PBL with SIP and also they purposely separate the overseas students so that we have no other means but to communicate online in future (after they leave for china). ya so much so for training us to have better time management, it also added more stress to us inevitably.

after project meeting was steamboat at bugis with cvk, a farewell party for vivien who is going for china osip soon. ate our fills and shopped around. took the super antique feel kind of photo and i'm loving it! went home after visiting the new shopping mall opp bugis junction, still cant rmb the name yet. bf came afterwhich and scammed me off my 12k from texas poker! so angry cos he cheated his way through and i got tricked. =( actually not really did he cheated but it was my first time on that game, so i didnt really know the trick of playing i guess. haha, good way of consoling myself.

friday was again back to tp for the lauching of package 1 for the PBL. how to not feel like a superwomen when i have yet recover my sleep from the 2 sleepless nights and i still have to wake up early every morning to report to tp for this and that? we specially made a video for vivien and played it at LT 5 for her after everyone has left. she was touched to tears, what a success!

due to some circumstances, we changed movie plan to going to woodlands in search for my workplace. i tooked a 1hr 30 mins ride before i reached my company, i didnt minus off the traffic jams on normally weekday mornings yet. i was still complaining to bf when we were passing by"why this company never put their signboard facing the main road de? got company like that de meh? wa lao" den when we walked all the way in from the back, that company that i complained is actually my company, HAHA! overall was not bad and i like the building as it has a sense of creativity looking abit diff from other square-ish company. though we made a slight detour, kudos to bf who found my company for me! if i was alone on the hunt, i would have just squatted at the roadside and started crying like a lost kitten.

in the evening, it was mahjong AGAIN. i dont at all feel sick of playing mahjong, am i addicted to it? lol i swear my instincts for the cards was very very very strong yest! but i lost a few bucks again.

saturday, which is today was spent at home finally! as much as i dont like to stay home during holiday, i do feel tired after this tiring week. using of com, watching of tv and taking of afternoon nap, all these have to stop for 3 whole weeks, pathetic life. stop me from detesting sip, im trying my best not to! convince me its going to be fun and enriching, my colleagues gonna be angels and just angels.

random thoughts
is there really a solution to every problem? im tired of finding a solution to every problem cos none of them worked. i dont believe in nothing is impossible now. cos i realised that finding a solution to a problem is impossible.

its getting tiring when u have to account for every of ur action or be particular of whatever u do. why must ppl do things with a motive yet act as if they are genuine and sincere? do it once, do it twice and cant do it thrice, whats the reason behind it?

its a chain with a lock, and u have the key. pulling the chain produces noises and friction which will cause the chain to become rusty one day. but u can always polish the chain to make it new as ever. u can always handle with care so that its not as noisy. and lastly, u have the lock to it. if ure tired of handling chain and decide to switch to rope where it is more flexible, unlock it and u dont have to account to anyone. if u decided not to unlock it, handle it with care.

i thought i saw the end but it always not the case. i hope this time its for real. i will remind myself and i want to be reminded. at the end of the day, im just a pampered little girl.

i cant stand how guys can get so ungentleman. the smallest actions mean more than those exxagerated ones that arent coming out from your heart. no sense of urgency.

the weather has been godlike these few days. say hi to shiyi, the glue.

10:47:00 PM Y

15th May 1990

" Maha Bodhi Primary
Bedok North Secondary
Temasek Polytechnic "

abel
amos
bear
chenyuan
cheryltan
chloe
dionysius
duke
esther
eveleen
faezah
felicia
gerald
gilbert
hiroshi
huijia
huining
huixuan
janice
janson
jean
jesslyn
jiahao.andy
jialin
jia ying
joey
kai ling
kian aik
kiki
kimhong
lcm
lee kiang
lihui
mandy
meijun
meiting
niki
ricky
robin
ryn
ryn.livejournal
shi hui.jie
stacey
syqin
tonglin
vanessa
vivien
wen hui
ying chee
yi ming
ze hui.ray
zheng hong
zhi ying

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